November 11, 2011 Meeting

Today we had the pleasure of W. Russell Turner from the Virginia Aquarium as our speaker.

The Virginia Aquarium was established in 1986 and currently averages about 625k visitors per year. There are about 800 volunteers that assist the aquarium throughout the year. The aquarium is a 10 million dollars public-private partnership.

Recently the Virginia Aquarium has recently received a grant to measure and study the ship traffic pattern coming in and out of Hampton Roads as well as the migration patterns of whales and migratory birds. The results of their studies are to be analyzed in connection with proposed off-shore wind turbine farms and to find a best possible location for this endeavor.
Among some of the other projects the aquarium performs are:

  • Animal rehabilitation, such as turtles which get a transmitter upon release to track their movements upon release. The transmitters are designed to fall off after 60 days.
  • E-cycling – where residents can bring in their old TV’s, computers and other electronic equipment for recycling. In 2011 the aquarium took in 28 tons of e-waste in 4 hours.
  • Sensible Seafood Logo – The aquarium sponsors a program in conjunction with local restaurants informing diners of seafood that is not over fished and therefore possibly a better choice environmentally.
  • Develop methods and recommend techniques for better fishing that will save dolphins and other large animals not intended to be caught.
  • Premium Experiences such as a program where up to 4 guests can get in the water with the seals.

Some annual aquarium events:

  • Golf Classic
  • Clubbing with the Ladies – Women’s Only Golf Tournament – 9 hole takes 3 1/2 hours
  • Commotion in the Ocean – annual gala

Today’s story by Art:

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s with the money in the jar?”

“Well…, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus.”

The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up, so he asks, “What are the three tests?”

“You gotta pay first,” says the bartender, “those are the rules.”

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

“Okay,” says the bartender, “here’s what you need to do:

  • First – You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can’t make a face while doing it”
  • “Second – There’s a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.”
  • “Third – There’s a 90-year old lady upstairs who’s never had sex. You have to take care.of that problem.”

The man is stunned! “I know I paid my $10 – but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it! You’d have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!”

“Your call,” says the bartender, “but, your money stays where it is.”

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, “Where’s the damn tequila?!”

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks – but he doesn’t make a face — and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he’s bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, “Now…, where’s that old woman with the bad tooth?”